Wednesday, 21 January 2009

'the community'

okay, i wrote a comment reply to this blog post:

http://lsmurf.wordpress.com/2008/12/31/the-youtube-hierachy/#comment-128

it would be good to go read that now for relevance reasons.

anyway, it turned into a bit of an essay and although i didnt re-read it and it's not perfect, i'm quite pleased with it and i've been told that it sums up the feelings of this group perfectly. it's still to go through moderation so i'm going to paste it below:


  1. Jemmahatty Says: Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Hi, i know you don’t know me (though you were at the brum gathering, weren’t you? i was too), but i just wanted to give you my perspective on the situation, from somebody who’s been both out of the group and in the group. sometimes it’s hard to be objective on a situation like this so i though i’d give you my point of view.

    Everyone sees this big group of friends and decides that they are the community, just because those who could be considered ‘more famous’ are in the group. In actual fact, they’re just a group of friends who met through youtube and would be friends if they knew each other in real life, just like you have a group of friends and plenty of other people do. If you met up with your friends and everyone called you an elitist for not inviting all of UK youtube, that would obviously not be fair and annoy you.

    Dave wanted to have his friends round for new year, so he invited them, and they went. It just so happens that he met these friends on youtube. I think he’s quite within his rights to do this, and yet him and the group and all those who attended seem to be getting a lot of grief just for spending time with their friends. It’s almost like school, with people getting upset over not being in the biggest clique.

    I don’t make videos, i don’t have lots of subscribers, and so people assume i’m some groupie and fawn over the likes of Alex/Charlie/Todd/Dave. I don’t see them as any different from me, don’t treat them any differently, and don’t expect anything of them other than any other normal person.

    I think partly a reason i’ve been accepted into the group is maybe even this view i have. It would be a bit weird if your friends worshipped the ground you walk on, and it certainly wouldnt do anything for your ego.

    Anyway, i do understand where you’re coming from, but for me, i’m generalised as being a nobody in the group that’s there for the fame or to worship people, and it frustrates me when we’re branded and slagged off without a chance to explain that we are a group of friends, nothing more, nothing less, and should just be treated as such, and not have to carry the duty of the entire ‘community’ on our shoulders, because that isn’t fair.

    Sorry for the essay, hope i’ve given you some insight and maybe changed your mind a little. Look forward to hearing from you,
    Jemma.

  2. Jemmahatty Says: Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Also, just one more thing, you look like you’ve had an AMAZING year. you’ve been to loads of gatherings, made lots of great friends and been to the likes of youstage, which is something i’d have loved to do. Just because i got to go to dave’s new years party doesn’t change that. I’d be more than happy to have experienced all of that, whether it was with good friends with lots of subscribers, or good friends with hardly any.


Wednesday, 7 January 2009

SkypeyWypey BloggyWog

o hai. nobody reads my blog so i can get away with being entirely unoriginal. woopaaaa.


- everyone loves you, you mentalist, despite your age. kill your parents and come to a gathering kthx.

- you're so lovely, and not as short as people made out (which enrages me to no end). your hugs are pretty amazing, as are your hats.

- BUT OIM EATING AN ORANGGGGE

- hardly know you but you were absolutely lovely to me from the get-go. i don't see why people tease you so much. you seem like such a kind-hearted person.

- i think i like you more than you like me, lul. but srsly, you're a rate laugh and i'd like to spend more time with you in the future. ps i forgive you about the camera. it was definitely your fault though.

- sometimes i forget about all the kind things you've done for me in the past, and i truly regret that. i think you make life unneccessarily hard for yourself though. it's not a sign of weakness to say that you're sorry and that you need someone. it's a sign of strength.

- i've never hated somebody so instantly as i do you. you're hardly even classifiable as talented and yet you seem to think you're the dog's bollocks. loud does not equate to good btw. i find your egotistical nature physically sickening. i hope one day you get your comeuppance. people are becoming less and less tolerant of you. you're walking a fine line. you probably think the 'u r so talented' one is about you.

- i always thought you were awesome, still do. i know you think i think everybody hates me, but sometimes with you it's genuinely hard to tell. you're such a laugh though. i miss those TFI nights where you didn't run away in a huff.

- what ever happened to you? i totally dealt with that situation in the wrong way, i know, and i'm sorry. i was so confused with life and everything and i left you behind. i hope you're okay and that your life is a little less drama-filled away from the internet. you deserve some happiness.

- you were never half as mean as anybody else, so i wouldn't worry. i never realised there was so much to you until i met you. you're a lovely girl and a proper laugh. oh and you need to be coming to glasgow uni innit ^_^

- :) you changed my life. i've never been so happy as i am with you. i love you so much <3 it would kill me if you had to go away from here to get a placement, but i wouldn't want to hinder you following your dreams. me and our big detached house in hyndland with raised outdoor decking will be here waiting for you always.xxxx ps dream you is a right bastard, but i'll try not to take it out on you.

- i always thought you were pretty neat. i'm only on your skype list so we have somebody else to play on iminlikewithyou though.

- i call you to test my sound. you are nothing to me.

Monday, 17 November 2008

Sorry

The last entry was horrendously written and i do apologise. Not that anybody actually reads this.

Struggling

I'll just come out and say it. I'm struggling to keep up with all this uni stuff.


I'm having to drop out of English Literature, which is bad enough, but if I ever even get this bloody philosophy essay done, i then have to catch up on my UCAS application for next year in a week (which includes all the application, writing a personal statement and choosing courses), then survive my exams and actually get in to a course i want to do next year. And considering now that I'm not even sure what i want to do anymore...
hmm




...




shit

passive aggression

Between my unsuccessful macaroni cheese venture at dinner and my ill-advised late night snack of floor-toast and yoghurt, the most wonderfully passive aggressive note went up on the increasingly busy noteboard (it's filling up with forced smily faces and underhanded jabs on heart shaped post-its at a frightening rate).

"food goes in the bin, guys, not the sink. :)x"

Ah, student life. I do love it.
Everyone labelling 'their' cupboards just incase in a misguided stupor i'm led to believe that i'm in some alternate dimension where my cupboard is infact the chap next door's cupboard and a precious condiment gets misplaced.
Labelled milk just incase 2 milk cartons gets too much for my little brain to fathom and i get sucked into some underground milk-theft based crime ring.

In other news, i can no longer afford to eat properly. I had hoped this would help with the not-being-able-to-join-the-gym issue but unfortunately it just means i seem to live off buy-4-for-£2 muller yoghurts, mini cheddars and John's cooking (lovely as this is, i do feel bad for the poor boy. he could do without me leeching off him, no?). Despite this, i somehow have to get the funds together to pay for my train tickets down to Peterborough for christmas.

Speaking of which: AAAAAAAAH. Meeting the family and suchlike. I'm sure they're lovely. They sound close and i know Howard is nice. Undoubtedly a healthier family dynamic than my own. Just a little nervous is all. I'm not good around new people as it is, especially in large intimidating groups. At least we'll be getting out of the house for a few days as we're popping across to Birmingham on the 22nd for Emily's gathering and going to Derby for new year.

Hopefully it all works out anyway. But it all relies on my passing exams (oh yeah, shit btw) and surviving until then. Wish me luck...

fin.

Monday, 13 October 2008

But, then

on the other hand, classes and ill health and not meeting expectations aside, i've had fun so far. it's not all bad.

things i wanted to do vs things i have done

Travelling for 4 hours a day for 2 months in order to attend summer school was only humanly possible due to my convincing myself i would achieve the following things:
  1. Get in to Politics w/ Film & tv at Glasgow Uni
  2. Live in the west end
  3. Write for all the newspapers and magazines i possibly could
  4. Join a load of clubs/societies
  5. Make friends with whom i actually had things in common
  6. Look after myself and retain some semblance of a healthy lifestyle
  7. Manage my budget to an anal degree
  8. Read more. All the books i've bought over the years and haven't gotten around to
  9. Take more photos and make more time for doing the things i enjoy
  10. Be sociable and outgoing (or at least fake it)
  11. Do more music based stuff that i always wanted to do but never had the time/skill/motivation.
Things from the above list which i have achieved:
  1. My A grades at summer school and any amount of begging couldn't get me in. I'm now having to pay the uni to let me do a course i didn't want to do in the first place
  2. I'm having to live in the city centre because, again, no amount of begging could get the uni to let a lowly paying part time student into halls. I have a 40 minute commute to classes still
  3. Never went to the societies fair until the last day and everything was gone. Never bothered to chase things down. The 40 minute commute seemed to put me off the daily travelling a bit too easily.
  4. See above. Joined the filmmaking society but as yet haven't managed to go to any meetings because i live nowhere near these obscure places in the west end/illness.
  5. This one just hasn't happened. probably because of the not being in societies issue and not going to any freshers events since the only people i know go to caley/strathclyde.
  6. Barely eating enough fruit and veg to stay alive. Not looking after the anaemia issue in the slightest. Never taking my medication. What's worse is that's it's effecting my ability to get up and go to classes and have any energy whatsoever. Also didn't join the gym due to my bad budgeting skills.
  7. See above. My notebooks that i purchased for this very reason remain in their plastic wrappers.
  8. Haven't read a thing since getting here. Didn't even have the concentration to do my coursework reading.
  9. The only photos i have taken since getting here are a few photos of my flatmates pissed in caley union on the first tuesday (a month ago?)
  10. Apparently i can't even fake having a personality
  11. I tuned my ukulele once. Left my violin and bass at home. Other than the occassional backing vocals on a trock song i don't see this one ever taking off.

And there you have it, a nice big list of reasons why i am fail.